Monday, August 1, 2011

Sean Said: Saying "I Love You"

Have I told you lately that I love you?
Have I told you there's no one else above you?

I must admit, I don't understand people who love someone, be it a spouse, child or any other special person in their life, and don't profess it - constantly.

I grew up in a house that was perhaps lacking in love, but was never lacking in I-love-yous. The thousands of I-love-yous my mother and I exchanged in my early years are probably the biggest reason I keep letting her back into my life, despite the fact she has hurt me many times, and more recently has hurt my wife; I just can't escape the emotions of those many exchanges.

Oh I know the arguments that those who don't like to say I-love-you use. They say that their loved one already knows they are loved. They say that its just words.

I say words cost you nothing to speak, but can carry a far heavier weight than some people realize. Our thought patterns, and even our neural networks organize themselves around our language. Words can fill you with rage, and bring you to tears - why would you not believe they can shape your heart and your relationship?

Your significant other might know you love them, but they feel it when you tell them. Your child, being a child, isn't even aware of most of the loving acts you undertake on his behalf; if they aren't told they are loved, their interpretation of their childhood and their relationship with you, might not be what you expect it to be.

So tell your loved ones you love them, and do it often. You don't need to sound like an infatuated teenager where all you ever say is I love you, but saying it several time a day can go a long ways; if you don't see the value in it during the good times, then at least realize that if you said it often in the good times, the bad times will go much more smoothly.


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